Five Times Beckett Kisses Castle
by FragmentedSandwiches
Summary: Alternate Universe- Five times Beckett kisses Castle
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Josh desn't exist._

Beckett had woken up just a little while ago. The paramedics had gotten her stabilized and warmed up enough that she was no longer shaking violently. Her first thought when she'd woken up was that she had to know if Castle was okay.

She wraps the brown blanket around her shoulders and gets out of the ambulance. She finds him in another one close by. He's still unconscious when she finds him, but she asks the paramedic who is taking care of him if she can just sit next to him. The paramedic says it's fine, so she sits there, watching his face, waiting nervously for him to wake up. She doesn't know why he's been unconscious for so long, and just when she's about to ask the paramedic, Castle jumps awake with a frantic, "Where is she? Where is she?"

Her heart begins to race- not only because he'd startled her, but because the first thing that had come to his mind was whether or not she's okay. As the paramedic tries to calm him, she reaches out and squeezes his arm. As he looks over at her, she sees the panic erased from his face, and he lies back down, takes a breath and smiles at her. He reaches his hand out to her, and she places her palm in his, gripping his thumb. He closes his hand around hers in a secure embrace.

"You're here," he says softly.

She nods. "I am." She squeezes his hand softly. "And so are you."

The paramedic finishes and exits the back of the ambulance. Castle sits up then, their hands sliding apart. Hers come to rest on her knees, and she watches as he rubs both of his over his face. He leans forward with his elbows on his knees, looking at the floor.

"I thought I lost you," He says. His eyes look back up and deeply into hers.

She holds his gaze. "You didn't," she says softly.

His eyes shift to look outside. "You were talking one second, and then the next you went limp in my arms. I thought that was it, if no one was there yet, then..."

The last few moments before she'd lost consciousness are kind of hazy. She just remembers feeling that sense of being sure they were going to die in there. She remembers needing to know that Castle was still with her. She remembers turning toward him to curl up against his chest. She remembers the way his arms were securely around her, the way his chin had rested against her forehead. His presence had made her feel secure in that dark situation. She also remembers saying something to him, or maybe just beginning to say something to him, but she doesn't remember what it was or whether she had actually said it. And then she doesn't remember anything else until she woke up in that ambulance.

She shifts forward where she's sitting, cradles his face in her hands, and turns his head back to look at her. "Hey, you didn't lose me, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm still here."

His lips curl into a faint smile. "Yeah, you are."

She hesitates for only a half second, then leans in and softly presses her lips to his, letting them linger there. She hears him inhale and then feels his hands gently touch her face.

This is what they both need- physical, tangible proof that they hadn't lost each other; that they're both here and alive.

She pulls away slightly and brushes her thumbs over his cheeks before letting her hands drop to her lap.

She feels empowered now. There are still things that need to be done- very big things. But with her partner by her side, she knows she can do them; that they can do them.

"Ready to go save the world?" she asks, standing up and tugging at his wrist.

She sees him smile as he gets up to follow her.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: "To Live and Die in LA"- If Beckett was a split second earlier in opening the door. _

Just as Castle was turning the knob to enter into his bedroom, he heard the turning of the knob of the door behind him. He turned to see Kate coming back into the common area of the suite. She wore the ghost of a nervous smile on her face and she was beautiful.

He stood there, watching her quietly cross the room. She stopped in front of him for only a second. All he could do was watch her in surprise as she reached for him and kissed him. It was soft and brief but with a sense of urgency. His hands went to her waist and his fingers gripped onto her as he began to return the kiss; softly, gently, affectionately. But before he knew it, she pulled back. But she didn't step away. She kept her forehead resting against his. She took a shaky breath, and he slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and holding her against him securely. He felt her hands grip onto the back of his shirt.

"I'm afraid," she said simply.

"I know," he said softly after a moment.

She tilted her head and nuzzled her nose against his. Their lips almost touched again.

"You know I'd never hurt you, right?" he said.

She nodded slightly, moving his head along with hers. "It's not you," she said, stepping back and looking into his eyes. His hands slid back to their previous spot on her hips. "It's the universe. There's always something. Always some outside force ready to destroy things… I'm just really afraid of going through that with you."

"You can't let 'What ifs' get in the way of something beautiful, Kate."

She ran her hands along his forearms. "I know. That's why we need to take things slow, ok?"

A smile blossomed on his face. "Of course."

"You have to be patient with me, Rick."

"I can do that."

She nodded and smiled. "Ok."

They made lingering eye contact again. They'd become masters at speaking to each other through their eyes. He leaned in slowly to kiss her. This time, the kiss deepened. He wrapped his arms around her tightly once more and he felt her gripping onto the back of his shirt, the fabric clutched tightly in her fists. She was melting into him, and he had to fight the urge to begin to take it to another level. She pulled back then, gave him two more short kisses and then smiled at him.

"I should go to bed. It's late."

He nodded, smiling. He gave her a light squeeze with his hands that were still resting on her waist and then dropped his hands. "Goodnight, Kate," he said softly, smiling.

"See you in the morning," she said, smiling at him and letting her gaze linger on his face before turning to go back to her room.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I already wrote a bit of a drabble about this moment from season 2's "Vampire Weekend", but I really wanted to expand on it and include it in this collection. Also, I don't own "Castle" or anything related to it._

**Five Times Beckett Kisses Castle, chapter 3**

He'd just told her that she smells like cherries, and he hadn't been expecting her to be looking at him the way she's looking at him. He'd expected her to roll her eyes, or glare at him, or order him to stop sniffing her. But she had turned to him, and now she's looking at him like maybe she'd heard what he tried not to betray in his voice- that he's intrigued by her scent and had been totally captivated by her in that moment.

He'd always expected her to smell like vanilla or spices, or even certain types of flowers, but not fruit, and especially not cherries. He associates the scent of cherries to playfulness, to things of his childhood- cherry bubble gum or cherry candy or cherry pie or the cherry cake his grandmother used to make. It suggests a whole unknown facet of Beckett's personality, a new layer of the Beckett onion, and he's intrigued and captivated by her, desiring even more than before to know everything about her.

She must have heard it all in his voice because she's holding his gaze, searching his eyes. He looks back into the depths of hers until he sees her eyes flick down to look at his lips. He then shifts his gaze to look down at hers. He'd always thought her lips looked so soft and perfect, and sometimes he just wanted to touch them if he couldn't kiss them. He'd notice them sometimes (or a lot of the time) in the way they formed a certain word, or the way she would absently touch them as she concentrated on paperwork or on the murder board during a tough case, and his mind would automatically go to this image in his head of him cupping her face in his hand and slowly running the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip. A shiver would go through her body and this would be his cue to replace his thumb with his lips and kiss her senseless.

But suddenly it's not just a fantasy anymore, this desire to feel her lips on his. Now he _knows_ her lips are impossibly soft and perfect because she's kissing him, and now he _knows_ that not only are her lips perfect in and of themselves, but they are perfect together with his. They fit together like two perfect puzzle pieces that were made for each other. He cautiously pulls her bottom lip between his, and after no protests from her, he gently sucks on it. She makes this short little "Mm." sound that's halfway between a moan and a whimper, and the sound of it hits him straight in the gut and smashes into a million pieces sending tingles all over his entire body. He intensifies the kiss then, still kissing her slowly but with more urgency and passion behind it.

He hears a sound to his left then, and remembers they are still in the precinct. For her sake, he puts his hands on the sides of her face and slowly pulls away. She looks shocked at what just happened, and a little disappointed that it ended so quickly, and a little insecure, and a million other things and she's so beautiful he doesn't want to look away. He smiles at her for a second, brushing his thumbs over her cheekbones before dropping his hands and looking to his left. He sees Ryan and Esposito with huge grins on their faces, walking backwards away from them, perhaps having walked in on them and deciding to make a louder entrance this time to keep from embarrassing them. At least Beckett would think there had been fair warning for them to have separated without having been seen. As the guys notice that Castle sees them, they begin to walk forward again as if they had seen nothing and were entering the room for the first time. Castle almost laughs at how quickly Beckett stands up, ramrod straight when she sees them coming.

"What's up with you guys?" she asks, observing their suspicious behavior.

"What, us?" Esposito asks.

"No, nothing's up," Ryan states, furrowing his brow.

"Mm-m." Esposito agrees, shaking his head, unable to suppress a smile.

"What's up with you?" Ryan asks Beckett.

"Nothing. Why?" She nervously clears her throat and pushes her hair back over her ears.

Castle can't help gleefully smiling at her discomfort, and Esposito gives him a knowing glance.

"Oh, nothing., You just seem…" Ryan starts.

"Flustered," Esposito continues.

"Yeah, flustered… and you're sure smiling a whole lot."

Her face immediately falls. "Tell me what you got," she says sternly, stretching out her arm, demanding the folder Esposito is holding. She grabs it from him as he offers it, and as soon as she's looking away from them, Esposito and Ryan give Castle the thumbs up.

Castle just continues to grin.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I'll be posting the last 2 chapters today, so keep your eye out for another chapter after this one_.

Christmas 2010-

The last day before the two days they would get off for Christmas (well, technically on-call, not day-off as murder never takes a vacation), Captain Montgomery planned a bit of a Christmas gathering in the break room for the homicide team. Lanie had been in charge of the decorations, Esposito had brought the  
>alcoholic beverages, and festive pastries had been ordered from the bakery down the street.<p>

An hour and a couple of drinks into the party, Castle found himself leaning against the doorjamb talking to Beckett who was slightly inside the break room, angled towards him and standing close. He was charming, she was smiling, and Lanie's heart was warmed just by watching their interactions from across the room.

Lanie had volunteered for decorations at the first mention of the party because she'd had a specific motive, and she'd kept an eye on the couple all night just so she could make sure her plan fell into place. The way they were standing at that moment was the perfect opportunity, but she thought they needed a little help. Lanie made as if she was going to walk past the two of them to reach for something non-existent behind them. She placed her hands on Beckett's upper arms in order to guide her out of her way and into position.

"Oh hey guys, look at that!" She pointed up above Castle and Beckett's heads to the sprig of Mistletoe pinned to the top of the doorway. They both looked up, then looked at each other with wide eyes, and then their eyes both landed on Lanie. Castle had a half smile on his face, and Beckett was staring daggers at her.

"Sorry, but it's tradition," Lanie said as if there was no choice in the matter.

Lanie had moved to casually block the doorway from any escape attempts, and Esposito stood on the opposite side of them with a twinkle in his eyes. "Yeah, tradition," he echoed.

Castle still had that half smile on his face.

"Are you guys serious?" Beckett asked, clearly frustrated.

"Mm-hmm," Both Esposito and Lanie nodded as Ryan and the Captain joined them from across the room, looking at the couple expectantly.

Beckett looked back and forth between Castle and the rest of her teammates a few times before sighing and saying, "Fine, but this is just to make you guys stop staring at us." She leaned in then and placed a relatively quick, chaste kiss on Castle's lips. What she wasn't expecting was for his hands to reflexively land on her hips, or for the strong reaction in her gut that forced a short rush of air out of her lungs. And before she could stop herself, her lips were back on his, his bottom lip had been pulled in between hers, and she'd let him pull her closer to him with his fingers pressing deliciously into the skin at her hips.  
>He pulled back slowly for the sole purpose of returning again and placing another tender kiss on her lips.<p>

She blamed her slow reaction time in pulling away from him on the alcohol, and then because she doesn't run away from anything, she put on an aloof face and declared, " all happy now?"

She heard a collective, shocked, "Uh-huh" from the group, and noticed how Lanie's mouth was hanging open, Ryan's eyebrows were raised in surprised delight, Esposito had a proud smile on his face as if he was saying "Told you so," and the captain was smiling softly as if he recognized something the younger ones overlooked in their surprise and glee. Lastly, she looked at Castle, who'd dropped his hands from her hips. The look on his face surprised her. She'd expected maybe a little smugness, a bit of delight, but  
>what she saw was pure, unguarded affection.<p>

She searched his eyes for more than a few moments, long enough that the rest of their teammates had dispersed and were carrying on their own conversations. She didn't miss the fact that they kept glancing over in hers and Castle's direction every now and then.

Beckett cleared her throat. "Well, I should go."

"Oh, okay."

"See you in a couple days?"

He nodded, smiling sweetly. "Merry Christmas, Kate."

She returned his smile. "You too. Tell your family the same."

"Will do."

Their gazes lingered on each other for another second before she turned and walked away. He watched her until she entered the elevator and the doors closed behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I posted up the last two chapters, so make sure to read chapter 4, too!  
>I never intended to write a post-finale fic, but this chapter kind of ended up as one. Hopefully it's different than most of the ones out there. Thanks for reading!<em>

It's June and Beckett had been in the hospital for 2 weeks after the shooting. She'd awoken to find that she'd had a successful surgery, that her insides hadn't gotten as damaged by the bullet as they could have been, and that she'd been asleep for 5 days. Once she was awake, it had taken a few days for it all to really sink in- the gravity of what had happened. She'd been so happy to have Castle and her dad by her side when she'd woken up and for every moment they could possibly be with her for the rest of her stay in the hospital.

Castle insists on coming home with her the day she's discharged from the hospital. He says he wants to make things in her apartment easily accessible, as she isn't supposed to be stretching too much or lifting things. Her counters in her kitchen and bathroom end up being covered in things from her highest and lowest shelves and cabinets. It looks messy and cluttered, but she's grateful for his thoughtfulness, and knows it won't be this way forever. He knows she wants to prove her relative independence and that  
>she doesn't want him constantly hovering, so when he is completely sure she can't hurt herself further by doing anything she might need to do that night, he leaves her alone for the evening, telling her to call him if she needs anything, emphasizing the word "anything." She smiles at him, and sees him out.<p>

He stops by every day after that to see her. He wants to make sure she is doing okay, that she isn't over-exerting herself. He wants to keep her company and be there any way he can. She sometimes feels like he is being a little overprotective, but really, she's grateful for it. She's come to realize in this whole ordeal that letting someone help you when you really need it doesn't make you weak. She appreciates what he's doing for her, but she also appreciates what he _isn't_ doing for her. He seems to realize when he's doing  
>too much, that there are certain things she needs to do for herself. So he stands back and lets her do them, all the while being on the alert for her needing his help.<p>

She still doesn't like to ask for help, but he always seems to know when she really needs it and is willing to accept it without her having to ask.

After she had gotten shot and was lying on the ground in his arms, the tears that ran down the sides of her face weren't just a result of her pain and fear. They were also a result of her realization that she'd made everything so complicated, had been so afraid of her heart getting broken that she was losing  
>what she could have had with Castle. She finally saw that what she could have in her life was much more than risking it all to find her mother's murderer. Finding her mother's killer wasn't something she was going to give up on completely, but in those few seconds when she thought she was dying, she'd seen<br>that she had more to live for than she'd realized. She'd always thought her feelings for him, and his feelings for her would always be there, so she'd shoved them in the background until she would be "ready". But what did that really mean? She realizes now that you can never be "ready" for love.

Everything in Royce's letter regarding Castle and herself had become real in those few moments before she'd lost consciousness. Behind the searing pain was a screaming "IF ONLY" and the regrets had been too much to bear.

She remembers what Castle had told her as he'd held her in the grass. He'd told her that he loved her, and she's been struggling with how to confront that ever since she'd woken up in the hospital, but what she had learned was that what they have and could have shouldn't wait any longer. So she lets him help her, lets him take care of her while she heals. It would be too easy to push him away and prove her independence, but there were so many things her brush with death clarified for her, and one of them is that there's no point in pushing away the ones you love just to prove a selfish point.

She enjoys his company- the times he brings over movies for them to watch together, or makes her dinner and plays board games with her, the times they stay up almost all night talking until he helps her into bed and leaves her with a kiss on the forehead and a soft "Until tomorrow."

He helps her get up and around a little more each day. A walk to the end of the hallway of her floor and back for the first couple of days. Then eventually a walk to the end of the block and back, and then when  
>she is able to stand and walk for more than fifteen minutes at a time, he wants to take her to Central Park. He'd told her she's been missing out on the blossoming of Spring, and it's gotten so beautiful and lush and green in the park that he really wants her to see it, to smell it, and breathe in the fresh<br>air.

So they drive over to the park one day, parking on the side of the road. He helps her out of the car and they walk on a walking trail through the park. She's so happy to be outside where there are clumps of tall trees, and grass, and flowers.

She's quiet for a while as she takes it all in. She eventually wraps her arm around his at his side, and he stops walking. "You ok? Do you need to sit?" he asks in concern.

She smiles almost shyly. "No, I'm fine." She smiles again, shrugs, and tugs at his arm a little so they continue walking. Eventually, she slides her hand down the inside of his arm and weaves her fingers with his. He squeezes her hand, and then pulls her towards him in a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. They stand off the side of the path like that, his arms around her shoulders, her arms around his middle and angled up his back, and her face in the crook of his neck. After a few moments of silently holding each other, she pulls back a little to look at him. His hands slide down to hold onto her upper arms.

"I remember what you said to me- after I got shot." She sees him cringe slightly at the mention of the shooting, but he recovers quickly.

"I meant it," he says, pushing a lock of her hair back behind her shoulder and smiling at her.

"I know." she smiles up at him, reaching her hands up to his face, ghosting her fingers over his cheeks, touching his chin with her thumb and then running it lightly over his bottom lip before kissing him. It's unhurried and tender and passionate. They're wrapped up in each other, off to the side of the walking  
>trail lost in each other, unaware of how many people pass them by averting their eyes from the intimate scene they create.<p>

She pulls back slowly and leans her forehead against his. "I love you too. Always." She didn't expect the catch she hears in her own voice, or the happy tears that are suddenly sitting on her lower eyelids, blurring her vision. When she looks up at him to give him a teary smile, her tears spill over and he kisses a path down each of her cheeks, tracing the tracks of her tears. They embrace once more, swaying back and forth slightly, so content to just be with each other, floating on their feelings of _finally _ and _always_.


End file.
